Here’s some free advice Theo: Don’t Trade Manny!

I will never understand this phenomenon that has begun in the northeast.  Each and every year I have to listen to the Eastern Sports Programming Network (also known as ESPN) talk about how THIS is the year the Sox trade Manny Ramirez.  It’s either because he says he isn’t happy, or that the team mistreats him, or that he’s struggling to find fans that can deliver a solid high five (you know, the ones where you make that crisp clapping sound) when he is leaping up fences to catch fly balls, but every single year I have to listen to this crap that would never in a million years happen.

Only the this year actually might be different.  It seems like Theo (who is by far the most overrated GM in baseball-more on this later) has finally had it with Manny.  God forbid a baseball player has fun when he’s on the field as well as delivering all-star numbers each and every year.  Are his antics ridiculous?  Yes.  Anyone who walks through the left field wall during a baseball game is either mentally challenged or has been hanging out with Redman and Method Man in their batcave too often.  But does he produce?  Big time yes.  He is a monster.  He is one of the few guys in the league whose stance makes it look like no matter where you throw the ball, he’s going to crush it.  Frank Thomas had this type of stance as well and so does Albert Pujols.  If you are trying to imagine what this kind of stance would look like, imagine Omar Vizquel at the plate and think the exact opposite.

But despite his ridiculous numbers and frightening batting stance, Theo Epstein is seriously considering trading him.  Not surprised.  Theo has consistently made questionable moves since taking over the team.  But wait you say, what about the David Ortiz signing?  Great, he made one good move.  You know who else had made a great move?  Isaiah Thomas.  He drafted David Lee.  Well done both of you.

You know what else Theo has done?  He gave Matt Clement a 4 year 40 million dollar contract.  Matt Clement!?!?!  He didn’t resign Orlando Cabrera and instead gave big bucks to Edgar Renteria.  Although I did a similarly stupid thing this year when I drafted Renteria in my fantasy baseball league.  He sucks more than a Sister-Sister marathon on the CW (aka BET 2).  He traded Josh Bard and Cla Meredith for Doug Mirabelli.  The best contribution Dougie boy made to the Red Sox was winning the prestigious “Most Donut Holes Eaten in One Hour” award which now is consistently won by none other than Benjie Molina.  He also traded Bronson Arroyo for Willy Mo Pena.  Ouch.  Although at least in this trade he got another member of the All-Guys You Wouldn’t Want to Engage in a Bar Fight With to complement Youkillis and Pedrioia.  Seriously, I’d rather listen to Keanu Reeves’ talk philosophy for 24 hours straight than fight Youk.

So it looks like the unthinkable might happen.  Trading an all-star caliber player for someone 75% as good (Jason Bay).  If this trade happens, you can kiss the playoffs good bye this year.  Ramirez does more for the Red Sox by simply protecting Ortiz than he probably even does with his own offensive contributions.  Not to mention the fact that while everyone critiques his defense, he reads the Green Monster better than most people give him credit for.  The Sox won’t stave off the Yankees or pass up the Rays with Jason Bay in that lineup.

So Theo, I know you love our blog, so please listen to me.  Don’t trade Manny!  Not now, not ever!  Besides, if you trade Manny, then who is going to play Warcraft 3 with David Ortiz on their off days?

Agree?  Disagree? Let your voice be heard in the comments section below.

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Tags: Boston, Boston Red Sox, David Ortiz, Jason Bay, Major League Baseball, Manny Ramirez, MLB, Red Sox, Trades

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